Moving on from our past is not an easy thing to do. This week I received a call from an old friend who offered me a role in a new endeavor. It was flattering, but if I had entertained the idea it would have detracted from the work I need to do in my new life. My family and I moved across the country for a new job and started a new life. The offer from my friend would have brought chaos into a life that is finally settling down. Moving three children and a dog across the country creates enough change, once, twice would be unthinkable. So, I said “No, thanks,” to the offer.
Sometimes what is required to continue moving in the direction of our dreams is to let go of past dreams, shut the door and move on. It’s not always easy, but most things in life that are worth pursuing aren’t easy. After I said that I was not interested, I felt at peace with the decision. Had I considered the offer, I would have spent the next few weeks in a kind of purgatory, with an excuse to not pursue my dream of writing.
For years I found reasons not to write, to put it off for some future version of my self. I could see the man I wanted to be in my minds eye, living my life and moving others through the words I wrote. I am that man now, maybe not moving others through my words, but that will come with time and practice. The key is that I continue, day by day, word by word, moving in the direction of my dream.
Writing for myself and not worrying about pleasing others is liberating, for years I tried to pander to what I thought would be popular. I hated it. I felt that I was being pulled, kicking and screaming to the keyboard and the words that were forced out were not what my soul desired to write. Now I write for myself and if others find value in my words, great, and if not, that’s ok too. I have built a life for myself that allows me to write what I want, how I want to, and not worry about making a living from my words. I am free to create that which moves my soul, to create the art that for years has lain hidden away deep inside.